I Hate Waiting Season

A few songs for the space between.

This spring has been a season of looking inward.
A season of silence. Though it hasn't been that quiet.

I’m learning how to trust myself again after setting fire to my perfect life.
Now, I’m learning how to trust the process.

Every creative life has seasons. Busy seasons. Harvest seasons. Seasons where the phone won’t stop ringing. And then there are the waiting seasons. The sit here and sip the chai seasons. The ones where the emails slow down after a big project wraps and all you can think is: what’s next?

I hate these seasons. (I’m learning to love them too.)

Especially because when you finish something big, the only thing you want is another big thing to throw yourself into. Another project. Another obsession. Another reason to stay in motion.

Pema Chodron teaches me about this feeling. I have a way of paraphrasing the teaching; “stop being a little bitch and be still.”

But if you want the full teaching read this:

Sometimes the next big project is to wait.

Sip tea.

To sit still long enough to realize your value is not only tied to movement. To trust that silence is not abandonment. To trust that rest is not failure. To trust that the quiet has something to teach you too.

I’ve found myself there lately. In that strange in-between place. Waiting for the silence to say something back. To fight back. But the silence has no punch.

So i started collecting music for playlists again, instead.

Some of these songs found me while I was in the Azores, Portugal.

Some while wandering through Bed-stuy Brooklyn this spring.

Some while driving around town with my sons.

Some while dancing in the kitchen late at night after long days.

These songs have been my company this season.

Music is such a beautiful offering. One of the few gifts we can give away endlessly. It costs me nothing to hand someone a playlist. And yet a song can completely shift a day. A season. A memory. A life.

There’s something deeply intimate about sharing music. About saying: this helped me carry something.

So today, I just wanted to offer these songs to you.

Maybe they’ll keep you company too.