Meditation Startup Kit: Part One

Essential tips for training to sit still

I wanna be clear about something before I say anything else.

I’m not sharing this because I’ve mastered meditation. I’m sharing it because I used to believe I couldn’t do this at all.

When I first started practicing, I couldn’t sit still for two minutes. Not exaggerating. My mind was loud, my body was jumpy, and I thought something was wrong with me. I kept hearing people talk about stillness like it was easy, like it came naturally.

It didn’t for me.

And honestly, with ADHD and a few other neuro-spicy ingredients in the mix, sitting still felt impossible. My brain wanted to go everywhere. My body wanted to adjust every five seconds. I thought, maybe this just isn’t for people like me.

But I stayed curious. Mostly because of a documentary I saw on Netflix about some monks that can heal their own mind. That’s a story for another day.

Slowly, gently, over time, I realized I wasn’t broken. I just needed the practice explained in a way that made sense to my real life ADHD, fast life, hyper dad, moving and shaking, hustle man, sized situation.

That’s why I’m sharing this. Because if you’re here reading this, you’re already doing something brave.

You’re Brave for Being Here

A lot of people don’t even try.
You did.
That matters.
Trust this onward leading voice of healthy choices.

The First Thing I Learned:
DUH, I Deserve Five Minutes

This isn’t a duty, this is a 5 minute vacation.
You better take that vaycay, gurl.

This was the shift.

With everything going on. Work. Stress. Bills. Kids. Showing up for other people. Trying to hold life together.

Out of twenty-four hours, I deserve five of those minutes - for me - to me - about me.

Now, SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST!

I DESERVE 5 MINUTES!

You do - DUH!
(Soon, we will be saying TEN MINUTES, 20 MINUTES, 30MINUTES)

That thought cracked something open for me. It gave me permission. And that leads to my next point:

Every meditation starts with permission.

If you don’t give yourself permission to be here, you won’t be. You got to choose to take the vaycay. let it be top of the list of your priorities. Your body might sit down, but your mind will be halfway out the door handling imaginary emergencies.

So before you sit, tell yourself:
I’m allowed to be here for five minutes. (or whatever time you set)

That’s not selfish. That’s survival.

Use A Timer

This is a simple one - use a timer. Don’t try to guess how long you been there.

Without a timer, your mind keeps checking. Thirty seconds will feel like an hour. Set a timer and let it hold you.

Sit How You Sit

Let’s kill the myth real quick.

You don’t need to sit on the floor twisted up like a pretzel. Those were tiny people from a long time ago. I love them, but my knees and hips said no.

I sit in a chair.

One of the best tips I ever got was putting a pillow behind my lower back. It supports you without letting you slump or lean back. You don’t want to collapse forward or recline like you’re watching Netflix. You want balance.

One teacher said it like this: stack your spine like coins.
Another said imagine a string gently lifting the top of your head.

My favorite version: hard back, soft front.

Structure like a tree, upright but bends without tension.

Breathe Like a Baby

Most of us breathe shallow without realizing it.

Try breathing low. Like two or three fingers below your belly button. When you breathe in, your belly expands. When you breathe out, it softens.

Babies breathe like this naturally. No forcing. No performing. Just breath doing what breath does.

Keep It Simple on Purpose

Here’s the practice.

When you breathe in, say in your mind:
I am breathing in.

When you breathe out, say:
I am breathing out.

That’s it.

This isn’t basic. It’s foundational. Knowing what you’re doing while you’re doing it is the whole thing.

You’re Allowed to Enjoy This

If the breath feels good, let it feel good.

If a small smile shows up, don’t push it away. Enjoyment doesn’t ruin meditation. It actually helps the body feel safe enough to stay.

And when your attention wanders, that’s not failure. That’s the whole deal. The moment you notice, just come back.

Breathing in.
Breathing out.

That’s it.

I share all of this because I love this practice. I love how simple it can be. I love how it meets real people where they are. Especially folks who were told, directly or indirectly, that stillness wasn’t for them.

It is.

If you’re here, you’re already doing the work.

Don’t be scurd.

Stay Present.

(Stay Tuned - Look out for part two of this series)